Honey Buns in Paradise

Years ago, I was a freshman in college at Northeast Louisiana in Monroe. At the end of the hall was a cigarette machine, a soda machine and one that sold Honey Buns. One night while I was studying my roommate came running into the room in an animated state of excitement.

"The honey bun machine is broke. Help me, quick!"

The machine was broken. Every time you pulled the retrieve handle, several Honey Buns would pour out of it. My roomy and I cleaned out the machine.

Several weeks or so later, after consuming many Honey buns, I never wanted to see a Honey Bun again as long as I lived. It made me think of the first time I got inebriated. The same year, I think. My roommate - yes, the same culprit - and I were at a piano bar in downtown Monroe, Louisiana.

Chuck was very cosmopolitan and had been drinking alcohol for years. At least that's what he said. My parents were teetotalers and I had never ever sipped a beer.

"Try a sloe gin fizz, honey," the pretty, but old -at least to me at the time - singer suggested.

I took her advice and had several. I think we were finally thrown out of the place, or at least asked to leave. I woke up before morning, very sick. You don’t want to know the details. Anyway, a month or so ago, I ordered a sloe gin fizz at a bar I frequent. It was the first I'd had in more than thirty years. I didn't finish it.

Before my Mother died, we took a trip back to Vivian. Along the way we stopped to buy groceries in Atlanta, Texas. While there, my mother bought, of all things, a box of Honey Buns. On the last leg home we stopped at a liquor store and I bought a twenty-four ounce Evil Eye High Density 10 % alcohol lager. I'm not making this up. I drank the strong beer after my parents turned in for the night.

I'm not particularly proud of the fact but the brew weakened me to the extent that I opened a Honey Bun and ate it.Well, unlike the sloe gin fizz, my first Honey Bun in more than thirty years wasn't so bad. Truth is, I even opened a second and ate it too. I guess what they say is true - time heals all wounds. Well, except for sloe gin.

Gondwana